


Do vampires get boners?

by madisonWhy



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Annoyed Derek Hale, Annoying Stiles Stilinski, Attempt at Humor, Crack, Fluff, Humor, M/M, One Shot, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 10:15:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23849554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madisonWhy/pseuds/madisonWhy
Summary: It was sometime later as he was scouring the internet when the question had popped into his head. If vampires didn’t have a heart beat and there was no blood pumping, then no blood would rush anywhere. Right? Therefore vampires couldn’t get boners!Stiles glanced at the time on his laptop and grimaced. 1:46 am. He closed his laptop and sighed, “I really need to go to bed.”
Relationships: Derek Hale & Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Kudos: 63





	Do vampires get boners?

**Author's Note:**

> One shot of Stiles annoying Derek (: Also Vampire boners.

“Vampires.” Stiles deadpanned, because seriously? Vampires were real? He shouldn’t have been surprised, considering werewolves and all but vampires?

Derek grunted, looking incredibly put out, “Yes Stiles, vampires.” Stiles felt a grin forming, there was something about Derek being in his bedroom, awkwardly standing by the window that just tickled his funny bone. Maybe it was because the guy always looked like the grumpy cat meme. Did that make me an asshole? Stiles wondered to himself. The guy actually had a reason to look sad. 

“Do they sparkle?” Stiles said with a grin, not because he was generally curious, well not entirely, but to see the way Derek's face twisted in annoyance. He was rewarded with a glare. 

“Just find out how to kill them.” 

“Easy.” Stiles said and Derek's face briefly showed surprise, “Really, how?”. 

“Stake to the heart, duh.” He couldn't hold back his laughter when the man's face twisted into something murderous. He should probably be more scared than he was. 

“I'm leaving now.” Derek scowled and made to jump out the windows, despite the fact that he could clearly hear that the Sheriff wasn’t home and that he was free to use the front door. Like a normal person. 

“No wait! Derek,” Stiles shouted through laughter, out stretching an arm towards the wolf. “Do they sparkle?” 

“Do the research Stiles!” Was all he heard, and then he was gone. Stiles smiled to himself. Riling Derek up was just too fun. Scott would protest, Derek was very capable of killing Stiles, but for some reason Stiles trusted Derek not to.

Besides, Stiles would know if he took it too far. despite what Derek probably likes to think he actually wasn't that hard to read. It's all in the eyebrows. Really. Those caterpillars were windows into the soul. 

It was sometime later as he was scouring the internet when the question had popped into his head. If vampires didn’t have a heart beat and there was no blood pumping, then no blood would rush anywhere. Right? Therefore vampires couldn’t get boners!

Stiles glanced at the time on his laptop and grimaced. 1:46 am. He closed his laptop and sighed, “I really need to go to bed.”


End file.
